Skip to main content

It Takes a Village

 They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I would argue that it takes a village to be a human these days. What we don't talk about is the grief that comes when the village is not who you thought (or society tells us) it should be. As the holidays are fast approaching my Husband and I have been reflecting on the various levels of estrangement we have with both of our families. Some is intentional full on no contact, some connections just got caught up in life, and some have major boundaries to protect our peace. 

I have been no contact with one of my parents for close to twenty years. It was the healthiest choice my young teen self had ever made (and probably the first time I truly honored ME) and it's not a choice that makes me sad anymore. There are other members of our families that losing/going lower contact with that has been much harder because the circumstances are less clear. I know it brings me more peace, but I miss them. 

In all of our reflection though one thing has been made abundantly clear. WE. ARE. BLESSED. 

We have had friends jump in and offer childcare when we couldn't take days off from work. We have had friends jump in and answer all my late night frantic texts when the puppy was really struggling. We have had coaches check in on our kiddo when he was struggling or in his head about his plays. We had another coach jump in and help find a tutor because he cares about our kiddo's success off the field as much as on. We have had neighbors provide puppy care and drop off cookies just because. Other neighbors will shovel our walk. We have neighbors that bring me jars so I can continue canning. We have friends that check in on us or are willing to wait in line at the store for the release of an item. We have family that will answer any home improvement or vehicle maintenance call and guide us through. They have loaned tools, skills, books, words of encouragement, and so much more. Our family, neighbors, friends, and sports communities have gone above and beyond for us. 

We have our village. It might look different than we hoped, but it's better than we could have ever imagined.


 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Canning, Safety, & Ancestral Healing

 In 2024 I bought an electric pressure canner thinking it would be a nice way to preserve food. I was excited to learn something new, but it changed my life in ways I never imagined. I had canned (not properly) cranberry juice the year before and decided I was going to dive in head first. One of the first things I made was jelly. It did not turn out well, but I tried again. My 2nd attempt was peony jelly and it blew my mind. It was simple, beautiful, and tasted amazing. I got so excited I made several batches and gave them away to anyone that would take one!  Recently while at work I mentioned that I had canned up some soup and I brought in some (properly) canned cranberry juice as a gift to my coworker. My boss commented "you can everything!" and she is right.  I have loved to cook since I was a kid. I usually bake and it is one way I have found creativity, joy, and connection. To me food is meant to be shared and it's how I show love. Canning has been an extension of th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Libraries Rock

 Today I had some admin work I needed to get done after my client sessions. I’m in my first week of working from home full time and I LOVE it. However, I know myself well enough to know that it’s going to be hard for me in some ways. When I am home and there are dishes waiting to be done, or laundry that needs to be folded, or a rambunctious puppy that needs to be walked I have a hard time focusing.  I am neurodivergent and a messy or disorganized space plays a big role in my ability to focus (and relax). I also am REALLY good at prioritizing literally anything other than what I should be doing. That sometimes means I will clean instead of getting my paperwork done. If I fall into that trap then I get behind and feel overwhelmed and I tend to avoid it even more. Then the cycle repeats.  While I have set boundaries (see my previous post) about how I am doing things different this time around, this one needed to be with myself. Paperwork is a non-negotiable in my role. I ha...
Post a Comment
Read more