Stop the Glorification of Busy

I saw someone I know post recently about working 20 hours a day and never taking breaks like it was a badge of honor. Reading their post I had a visceral reaction. There was a time in my life where I would have thought "hell, yeah!". Now it just makes me sad.

I used to pride myself on being busy. I have worked from a young age starting with babysitting. Then in high school I went to school, was a varsity cheerleader, and worked about 20 hours a week. In undergrad I worked 2 jobs the entire time I pursued two degrees. In graduate school I worked full time while taking classes and doing internships. I still work 2 jobs. Even though I am often busy, it's different now. I used to work myself to the bone, never stopping. I attempted to be everything for everyone. This left me feeling sick, burnt out, resentful, judgmental (why is everyone else so lazy?!), and in pain.

In the last few years I have been much more intentional with my time. I'm a Mom to a kiddo that plays year round sports, I coach his football team, I still work 2 jobs, and I'm a wife. We are busy, there is no way around it. I now build rest into my days. It's a priority. Once I shifted this for myself I have noticed a HUGE difference. I get sick less. I'm not burnt out. I have better relationships. I'm also in less pain.

Some things that have helped me accomplish this:

Taking my lunch break & other breaks in the day

Batch cooking and canning easy meals for busy nights or nights where I need a break

Meditation before bed to ensure a proper night of sleep

Saying no to things that aren't a "Hell Yes" for me

Not volunteering for extra stuff to prove anything to anyone (and stopping caring about the opinions of others)

Not feeling obligated to participate in everything (JOMO- joy of missing out)

Using my vacation time

Participating in things that light me up (my puppy, reading with my family, cooking, being in the woods, crafting, engaging with people I love)

Being in the water- so swimming in the summer and nice baths in the winter

Moments of solitude

My priorities now are joy and peace. I engage in things with intention as often as I can. Even though I am busy I am able to say no to things that don't serve me. When I feel stress creeping up too high, I back off. Being busy is a product of the capitalistic culture we live in. Rest is radical.

Comments

It Takes a Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I would argue that it takes a village to be a human these days. What we don't talk about is the grief that comes when the village is not who you thought (or society tells us) it should be. As the holidays are fast approaching my Husband and I have been reflecting on the various levels of estrangement we have with both of our families. Some is intentional full on no contact, some connections just got caught up in life, and some have major boundaries to protect our peace. I have been no contact with one of my parents for close to twenty years. It was the healthiest choice my young teen self had ever made (and probably the first time I truly honored ME) and it's not a choice that makes me sad anymore. There are other members of our families that losing/going lower contact with that has been much harder because the circumstances are less clear. I know it brings me more peace, but I miss them. In all of our reflection though...

Canning, Safety, & Ancestral Healing

In 2024 I bought an electric pressure canner thinking it would be a nice way to preserve food. I was excited to learn something new, but it changed my life in ways I never imagined. I had canned (not properly) cranberry juice the year before and decided I was going to dive in head first. One of the first things I made was jelly. It did not turn out well, but I tried again. My 2nd attempt was peony jelly and it blew my mind. It was simple, beautiful, and tasted amazing. I got so excited I made several batches and gave them away to anyone that would take one! Recently while at work I mentioned that I had canned up some soup and I brought in some (properly) canned cranberry juice as a gift to my coworker. My boss commented "you can everything!" and she is right. I have loved to cook since I was a kid. I usually bake and it is one way I have found creativity, joy, and connection. To me food is meant to be shared and it's how I show love. Canning has been an extension of th...

Libraries Rock

Today I had some admin work I needed to get done after my client sessions. I’m in my first week of working from home full time and I LOVE it. However, I know myself well enough to know that it’s going to be hard for me in some ways. When I am home and there are dishes waiting to be done, or laundry that needs to be folded, or a rambunctious puppy that needs to be walked I have a hard time focusing. I am neurodivergent and a messy or disorganized space plays a big role in my ability to focus (and relax). I also am REALLY good at prioritizing literally anything other than what I should be doing. That sometimes means I will clean instead of getting my paperwork done. If I fall into that trap then I get behind and feel overwhelmed and I tend to avoid it even more. Then the cycle repeats. While I have set boundaries (see my previous post) about how I am doing things different this time around, this one needed to be with myself. Paperwork is a non-negotiable in my role. I ha...

Green Mountain Intuitive Healing

Search This Blog